Hire Me

If you would like to offer me a job, please be aware that I am incredibly expensive, almost thoroughly unemployable, require unlimited in and out privileges, I don’t document my time and come with three dogs who go everywhere with me.

If that STILL hasn’t scared you off, complete the form below. Everything is required.

Your Name

Your Company


Your Email

Short, tweet-like Subject

Your Offer. Include your social accounts, please.

I have read this page including the terms and conditions above, Gerard's résumé, his story and have a real job to offer Mr. McLean. By submitting this form, I acknowledge Mr. McLean will Google me — including my personal social media accounts — prior to contacting me. If Mr. McLean does not contact me or replies with a "NO," I agree to accept that and move on to someone else.