Hire Me

If you would like to offer me a job, please be aware that I am incredibly expensive, almost thoroughly unemployable, require unlimited in and out privileges, I don’t document my time and come with three dogs who go everywhere with me.

If that STILL hasn’t scared you off, complete the form below. Everything is required.

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Your Offer. Include your social accounts, please.

I have read this page including the terms and conditions above, Gerard's résumé, his story and have a real job to offer Mr. McLean. By submitting this form, I acknowledge Mr. McLean will Google me — including my personal social media accounts — prior to contacting me. If Mr. McLean does not contact me or replies with a "NO," I agree to accept that and move on to someone else.