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I’ve never had a formal mentor arrangement with anyone. It wasn’t for lack of trying, but perhaps I’ve always associated with folks who weren’t closers. And when feeling closed upon by my “mentors,” I backed away. Perhaps that is the way these things are supposed to work; a support system of bumper rails without risk of co-dependency.

Looking back, when asked to be someone’s mentor, my first question was always, “What do you want?” It was almost always met with indecision. “I just want some help. My career seems to be stalled, I’m feeling frustrated and taken for granted. I want to be more like you” was a common reply. Little did any of these poor, hapless, rudderless folks know that I was just as lost. I guess I just hid it better.

But without a direction, without knowing what they wanted, I could not help. But I tried anyway, helping perhaps to define the direction, the needs and wants and winding the charge own the path. But because the direction did not come from the fire in the gut, it usually burned quickly, smoldered and finally died. Most drifted off, afraid somehow to tell me they no longer wanted to be mentored.

For myself, I’ve always wanted a mentor and have attracted a few. But what started out as a mentor relationship slowly evolved into someone older guiding me into a career they wished they had, not what I wanted. We usually parted without a goodbye.

And now blogging has replaced the need to mentor for me. If any of my ramblings are helpful in any way, take them, use them and make them your own. But don’t ask me for more than I am willing to give here; both of us will be disappointed and part strangers.

This mentor round-table challenge was thrown out by Holly Hoffman of WorkLoveLife.com

It’s been a couple of months now since the life coaches and go-getters pushed out their brand of RAH RAH RAH and GO! GO! GO! for 2010. We’ve seen folks choose keywords for their life, new resolution for the year, non-resolution for the year, themes instead of resolutions and all sorts of various predictions and start-up dreams, etc.

And very little living. Only doing.

When I worked at a newspaper a long time ago* I spent about 70% of my time wandering around with my cup of coffee, talking with other people in the building; Gary in accounting, Ted, John and MB in editorial art, Jeff in photo and all the print shop and pre-print guys. Before that, when I worked at SPAR Marketing, most of my day was spent wandering around talking to people with my coffee cup. And before that, I did the same thing at Huffy.

And I got a lot done as a result.

But every year during my performance appraisal, my boss of the moment would take the opportunity to chastise and berate me on how much time I wasted walking around, talking to people instead of spending that time at my desk “producing.” And yet, each boss was amazed at my ability to produce a ton of work. No doubt they reasoned that if I could produce this much work walking around socializing, think about how much they could get out of me if I didn’t walk around.**

Here was the secret. What they saw as me wasting time, I saw as gathering stories about what mattered to people. I saw impromptu conversations over a cup of coffee as inspiration for change. I took away their frustrations and ranting as opportunities to solve organizational problems, to remove barriers. I saw my wanderings as keeping in touch with what mattered to people most, what worried them, what gave them fear. When I did “work at my desk” I worked on proposals that solved real problems and helped the organization become more efficient. I presented budget proposals that produced much more than busy work or boondoggles for management. I produced writing that talked to real issues that real people were feeling. The work seemed more real because it connected with real people, not just caricatures or stereotypes.

And that I think is the real value of all this time-wasting social media. To many, it looks like foolin’-around-time. But to those of us who know better, it is the inspiration and fuel of innovation and productivity..

*A long time ago = When the year started with 19
**About half as much, maybe less.

After thinking a bit about what sort of New Year’s Resolutions I needed to make a few days ago, I decided that I would put a list of five things together that I will NOT do for 2010.

Here goes, in reverse order of importance (IMHO):

5. I will not use free software or services
I have come to the conclusion that there are two things true about “free” software/services. 1) Business that uses them only have the advantage until they break, cease operations or go off-line unexpectedly and 2) “Experts” who advocate that you use them are only trying to force you into reason #1 to keep themselves at a competitive advantage.

4. I will not create any more Google Alerts
Google Alerts used to be useful, but now I get so many of them so fast and so many of them lead to a false positive that they are just clogging up the inbox, wasting my time reading them and causing undue anxiety.

3. I will not sign up to receive any more newsletters
Eventually, the really cool stuff that I needed to know that you were publishing turns into a spam email every day/week/month and a really lame Holiday greeting card at the end of the year. If I need to know something, I’ll Google it. If you are doing your job well, I will find you there.

2. I will not create any more user accounts
If you require that I create an account to read your stuff, use your “free” online tool or order from your online store, I’m just going to shrug and move on. I already have accounts with the major online retailers like Amazon, B&N and MacZone. The chances that I won’t be able to find what I need from them is not very high, even if the price is a little bit more.

1. I will not read any more blog posts about using Social Media.
Everything that needs to be said about social media has already been said. I already know how to use Twitter and how not to use Twitter.

That’s my list and I’m sticking to it. What about you?

Just for fun and visual cognition, I made a Wordle Cloud from my résumé.

I think a lot of hiring managers would benefit a lot by running résumé through a word cloud so see the major words and concepts show up quickly. Maybe some already do.

What does your résumé word cloud say about you? Would it get you hired?

Image above generated by http://www.wordle.net/ Click through to make your own.

Some time back, Kroger decided to “dress up” the packaging of their private label sour cream. Instead of plain white containers, they decided that they were going to show a photo of the product in use.

And that is when they started confusing me.

Take a look at the container above. Is the sour cream plain, low fat plain, onion flavored, chive flavored, garlic flavored, with bacon bits included? I don’t know. But, when I see rows of sour cream all lined up with photos of serving suggestions next to another row of plain white sour cream containers with name brands, I know what I want.

I reach for the Daisy sour cream in the plain white container. It probably costs more, but I don’t have the time to scrutinize the label to verify if indeed the sour cream is really, really just plain sour cream only to find I had picked up a flavored variety when I got home.

Plain white container says plain white sour cream.

Sometimes too much design is not the appropriate design. Sometimes more just confuses what should be a “blink” decision.

Know your audience. It’s always about them, not you.

To live life more fully through humor. This sign was at the cashier station at a Bob Evans.

What do you think they do with all the lost nouns, adverbs, adjectives, prepositions, conjunctions and other parts of speech? Is there a box we can rummage through to find them? Maybe we can find a few more words for Joe “You Lie!” Wilson and Sarah “I read stuff” Palin.

Originally published on DogWalkBlog.

“It was not like that when I was a little kid,” she said as I mused about life, sitting on the sofa with my daughter watching some mindless movie on a Saturday morning.

I was musing that having friends means crushing expectation that you can’t possibly live up to, that empathy and kindness were a weaknesses and that when you can no longer contribute economically you are tossed aside for someone else who can.

I was fourteen when I started working full time to support myself. I am now well into my forties and have not had less than a full-time schedule of work since. Perhaps I am afraid if I slow down, the world will run me over and not stop to see if I am ok. Perhaps I am scared to ask if my value to everyone around me is solely economic. Perhaps I just don’t know what else to do.

Perhaps I should not be sharing these thoughts with my eighteen year-old daughter who should be seeing a bright, idealistic future and that makes me a bad parent. But I think she already knows the truth and that if I sugar-coat it, she would see through it anyway.