Repairing typewriters

Last week, I received emails from two former clients who needed some help with some legacy work. One needed some tweaks done on a print ad that was at least three years old. The other had moved his web site to a cheaper hosting solution, but the cgi no longer worked. He wanted me to help him fix it as his current hosting provider did not edit scripts.

In each case, the client did not know where else to turn to get the work done. They had — metaphorically speaking — old typewriters they still needed but could no longer find repairmen to fix. All of the cool kids were making drag ‘n’ drop jQuery websites with blackbox OAuth Twitter and Facebook login screens they really didn’t understand.

Neither former client knew anyone who could repair an old typewriter except me. Would I do this really quick fix for them?

No.

I could have done the work in just as much time as it would have taken to say no. But then, how do I charge? Hourly? Fix-rate for three seconds worth of work? How much is that really worth?

I know what it is worth to me, but clients see things in units of work and charging $400,000.00 to apply a set of skills everyone else has either abandoned, forgotten or never bothered to learn would have seemed excessive. Yet, that was what the work was worth to me.

Here’s why.

When I spend my time repairing typewriters. it takes away from me learning and growing the new skills that I need to remain competitive with the kids who are younger, faster and don’t appear to need sleep.

When I spend my time repairing typewriters, my clients will see me as the “typewriter repairman” instead of the forward-leaning visionary I need them to see. When it comes time for a new project in the “new space,” they would never trust their future to an old geezerly typewriter repairman.

Nobody trusts an old dog to do new tricks.

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Change is hard but choosing the wrong service is harder

I was listening to the news on the local Cincinnati NPR station this morning and heard a story about the City of Cincinnati moving from its self-hosted email service to either Google or Microsoft. In the analysis portion of the segment, the reporter said;

City officials are arguing for Microsoft because the city employees are already familiar with Microsoft products and it would make the transition easier.

Huh. Read that again and let that sink in a bit.

The rationale for choosing a company to manage what could be lots and lots of sensitive information about the government of a city and about 300,000 of its residents is based on how easy it is to change? I would hope the criteria for choosing an email service is a lot deeper than “easy to change.”

I’m not making an argument for or against Google or Microsoft. They both probably have fine products that will do the job. But the pain of change is temporary. The pain of choosing the wrong product, service or provider lasts a whole lot longer.

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Setting expectations in plain English

A few months ago, my shower drain backed up while I was taking a shower. So I called the local Rotor Rooter and the person taking my call started asking me all sorts of questions about what I wanted. I didn’t understand any of what she was asking so I simply said:

“I want to be able to sing all four acts of Figaro at the top of my lungs without my shower backing up. However we get there is your problem.”

She laughed and understood immediately what I needed. “No problem,” she said. “We’ll get a guy out today.”

And the plumber showed up a few hours later. Humming Figaro*.

I tell my server hosting company, “I want to be able to sleep nights.”

I tell my printer, “I want that red Coca-Cola red.”

All the while they press me to define server specs and Pantone® numbers. I don’t let them get off the hook that easily. Once they get you to sign off on a particular color or server speed, they then point to you and say, “but you signed off on that” when you really meant “I want to sleep nights” or “I want a deep red.”

I understand the need to set clear expectations and boundaries, but I am not an expert in the business of plumbing, server hosting and networking or color spec’ing. I have a conversational knowledge but expect the people who are experts to be experts.

How do you define your expectations so you communicate exactly what you want without taking on the responsibility experts should have?

*He didn’t actually hum the entire opera, just the short familiar part. I shared this because it was obvious he and the dispatcher talked and she shared my expectation with him. That’s good; I had hoped story would trickle through. As it turns out, he was also well-read, educated and was politically aware. We had a deep conversation about the state of education and health care in America. As he worked on my drain, of course. For him, it was probably a refreshing debate he normally doesn’t get to have. For me, it was a reminder to never pre-judge a person by what he does for a living.

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Instead of bad grammar, we’ll be subjected to bad video

It appears that 2012 is going to be the year social media experts write less and post more video. My take? Instead of bad grammar, we’ll all be subjected to bad video.

I urge you, please take some basic video courses. Learn the basics about sound and lighting. Learn how to write a script and read a teleprompter.

All video that looks casual and authentic has been rehearsed to death. Really.

*My most humble apologies to my audience for subjecting you to the version of me that did not get shoved through hair and makeup. I was hoping to scare you enough to make you think that a little bit of illusion is a good thing.

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Complicated could be deadly

Elevator fire panel

I was riding the elevator down from my doctor’s office yesterday and glanced over at the elevator panel. The emergency buttons caught my eye and it occurred to me that something that is intended to be used in the frantic throes of an emergency like a fire in a medical building should never have twelve steps.

And never be printed in small white lettering on a field of scarlet.

I’m sure that the steps were printed there to comply with some laws or other. After all, the chances of a fire breaking out in a modern medical facility are pretty slim. But if it did happen, it would be deadly.

Fireman need a standardized, human-intuitive interface for elevators. Firemen need a Steve Jobs approach.

What mission-critical things in your business are you doing that are simply “complying with the law” that you should be designing?

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